Thursday, 29 December 2011

Yo mamma so poor (PJ)

1.Yo mama so poor, for Christmas, she bought you a tape of children opening their presents.

2.Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush!

3.Yo mama so poor she cant aford the r at the end of poor.

4.Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

5.Yo mama so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk.

6.Yo mama so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp.

7.Yo mama so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage."

8.Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving."

9.Yo mama so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

10.
Yo mama so poor your family was made in China.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Humorous Quotes about Success


  • Success is like dealing with your kid or teaching your wife to drive. Sooner or later you’ll end up in the police station. ~ Fred Allen
  • I dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one’s business on earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with a goal in front and not behind. ~ George Bernard Shaw
  • Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom. ~ George S. Patton
  • Success means only doing what you do well, letting someone else do the rest. ~ Goldstein S. Truism
  • Behind every successful man you’ll find a woman who has nothing to wear. ~ Harold Coffin
  • If at first you don’t succeed, try to hide your astonishment. ~ Harry F. Banks
  • We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success. ~ Henry David Thoreau
  • We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don’t like ? ~ Jean Cocturan
  • Many a man owes his success to his first wife and his second wife to his success. ~ Jim Backus
  • Be awfully nice to them going up, because you’re gonna meet them all coming down. ~ Jimmy Durante
  • The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time. ~ Joe Girard
  • We do not know, in most cases, how far social failure and success are due to heredity, and how far to environment. But environment is the easier of the two to improve. ~ John B. S. Haldane
  • Everybody loves success, but they hate successful people. ~ John McEnroe
  • I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it. ~ Jonathan Winters
  • Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication, bullying, travel, meditation, medication, depression, neurosis and suicide. With failure comes failure. ~ Joseph Heller
  • There’s no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn’t tell you about it? ~ Kin Hubbard
  • If at first you don’t succeed, take the tax loss. ~ Kirk Kirkpatrick
  • If at first you don’t succeed, lie, lie again. ~ Laurence J. Peter
  • Sometimes I worry about being a success in a mediocre world. ~ Lily Tomlin
  • How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than 60 years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten? ~ Logan Smith
  • If at first you don’t succeed; you are running about average. ~ M. H. Alderson
  • She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong. ~ Mae West
  • Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed. ~ Mark Twain

Make your Mark

“Making your mark on the world is hard. If it were easy, everybody would do it. But it's not. It takes patience, it takes commitment, and it comes with plenty of failure along the way. The real test is not whether you avoid this failure, because you won't. It's whether you let it harden or shame you into inaction, or whether you learn from it; whether you choose to persevere.” 

This are some thoughts on " Making Your Mark "

John Gardner once said, "Some people strengthen society just by being the people they are." I don't know who John Gardner is, but I really like that quote…it cuts through the apathy and reinforces the power of "one." 

I am an ocean lifeguard. I come in contact with tens of thousands of people at the beach, and change their lives by teaching them about the ocean, patching up their wounds, finding their missing parents or children, pulling them out of life threatening situations, performing CPR, or just quietly watching over them, making sure they all live and go home. My legacy will be the people who are alive because I did my job well. 

I will recycle, utilize public transportation and ride my bike to work so as to make a personal investment in protecting our environment. 

I hope to use the education I am gaining right now to help future generations. 

I surround my daughter with justice-seeking, sincere, warm and giving teachers. These role models will help her become a living example of goodness in this twenty-first century.

Some people believe you must be famous or wealthy to be influential or memorable. The people who inspire me the most are the ones who follow their passions in life and strive to help others. I hope to be an inspiration to others by working for social change.


Through our jobs, political activities, publications, etc., we make our mark in big ways. But there are also small things we do that have a tremendous ripple effect in the world. Visiting a dying friend, mentoring a child, serving meals at a homeless shelter, teaching your children through your good example, all help to strengthen the bonds between human beings and make a deep, though invisible mark. 

By doing work that I believe leaves the world a better place…by working for social change and social justice. 

When I was in college, I assumed I would make a mark on the world in some big picture way, but every year I feel more and more convinced that any mark I leave will be much more personal/individual. I think that being a happy, loving, generous person who cares about other people is the sort of mark that I want to make, perhaps touching the lives of the people I care most about. After that, I believe in my teaching as a way of contributing to the world; believing in teaching as activism is what enables me to do it at all (i.e., makes it seem so much less ivory tower).

I plan to leave my mark as a person who loved to help others without the expectation of rewards.


I will continue to teach people around me to look at issues with more passion, more depth, and more personal activism, rather than supporting them in being passive members of society.

I want to touch those people who I come in contact with every day. When I went to my father's memorial service, there were hundreds of people who came together to remember him. I knew then he was the richest man in the world--he had been here, he had touched others. 

I'll make my mark by: treading the earth as gently as I am able; treating others as I'd like to be treated--kindly and with respect; being myself as much as I can, rather than trying to fit into anyone else's idea of what or who I should be, and by doing so, set an example for others; helping others in need as much as I can, any way I can; being a good friend; spreading good cheer whenever I can. 

I've always said that I want to matter to those who matter to me. I don't want to be famous, but I want to make a difference in the lives around me.

Who Killed Mr. A?

Mr.A was a business man and had a brother Mr.B. Both were in a dispute for their father's property worth Rs.15crores ..................

One day Mr.A and his brother Mr.B entered an elevator for reaching their respective flats with three other people. One was a Blind man second a 12 year old child (came playing cricket) and other a banker (came from bank after completing his duty)...........

The day was 2nd oct. Suddenly the elevator stopped and lights were off. And when the lights returned Mr.A was on floor and was killed.

Mr.B was arrested as all the evidence were against him but he wasn't a culprit. So, he hired a detective to find out the truth.

There was no chance for Mr.B to come out of this. B'coz in the lift were a blind man who even did not know who Mr.A is, another was a small child who can't do such thing and next was the banker who got transferred to Mumbai two dayz back so he was also new to Mr.A.................

The detective was totally confused. He called out for Mr.A's history, his friends and enemies all. He found that Mr.A had a deal with Mr.K of Rs.10crores. And if Mr.A dies than all the money would be with Mr.K .

But Mr.K was no where in the lift. Then he again started from starting and said, " The killer was no one but the............................................................................................................................................................
.................................................................................................
..................................................................
........................................
..........................
...............
...........
......
....
...
..
.
BANKER....."

yep the detective was correct, but question was how he found that.

Really easy. The day when Mr.A was killed was 2nd oct. It means a notional holiday. So, why was the banker coming from his duty. "The banker was none other than Mr.K who had a plastic surgery", told the plastic surgen.....

The case was solved..........

Friday, 25 November 2011

When I saw a lion

First of all i want u to know that its a real story. So, read it carefully.
The story goes like this:-
I with my three friends was moving alonge a dark and lonely path it was around 11:30 PM. Then one of us told that what do you think about entering the dark jungle at our right. All of us to save our ego told ya for sure. We enterd the horrible jungle it was a most dangerous piece of land on earth. We were walking step by step and it was getting more terrible. One of idiot stoped at a dark place and called us and when we reached he gave me a dare to touch the neem tree around 700 m away. And here also my ego took over my fear and i told yes i can do this bullshit kind of dare. And i moved on. As i taken few steps i looked behind but no one was there. My friends choosed to hide somewhere. So now i was alone but i kept on moving. Woooooooooh! what a fear i was suffering from i must say it was something which could easily make anyones pants wet. I was moving as well as praying. I was also hearing some voices which were making it worse. Then suddenly i heard a voice and felt someone is following me I thougt it would my friends but when i looked back it was a big and dangerous lion. He was moving towards me and looking me with his big red eyes it was a fear i even can’t describe. Slowly slowly he was moving towards me. And by a moment he was just one step from me. I was helpless. And suddenly he jumped towards me and…………….
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………………………………………………………..
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…………………………………….
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..
.
then i heard a voice it was of my mom saying:- beta, common getup fast and get ready for school.

Monday, 21 November 2011

A Chapter in my book


The maharaja of Pratibandhampuram was known as the Tiger King.Coz he had vow to kill 100 tiger, why there is a story behaind it.
When the King was born, the royal astrologer predicted that one day he has to die.The nine day bay amaze everybody when he said, "o, wise astrologer, we know that all must die. It is no prediction. Tell me how i will die." The asrologer said,"The baby prince was born in the hour of bull, and bull and tigers are enemies.So, the tiger will kill the bull."
          But the prince said "let the tiger beware."

When the prince was of twenty years he became the King of the state. And thought of the astrologer's prediction. He decided to kill a tiger. And he killed the tiger. He was happy. He proved he was stronger then the tiger. So, he sent for the royal astrologer.

The royal astrologer stuck to his prediction. He said The king might kill 99 tigers but the 100th tiger may prove dangerous.

The king decided to killl one hundred tigers. He proclaimed nobody could kill tigers in his kingdom, only he would kill them all. He killed quite a number in few months.

The king continued to kill tigers in his forest. He killed seventy tingers now no tiger was left. So he decided to marry a daughter of a king whose forest had a large number of tigers. Then he killed 99 tigers but no tigers were left in his father in law's forest now.

Now the king could not find any tigers neither in his kingdom nor in his father in law's one.

The king called Dewan and expressed his displeasure. The dewan felt he might lose his job if this situation remains. He had a old tiger hidden in his house. At night the Dewan and his wife managed to bring the tiger in the forest.

Next morning the poor old tiger was sighted and the king shot at it. The tiger collapsed at once. The king was happy. He believed that he had accomplished the mission. He ordered the tiger should be carried to the town in the grand procession. Then he left. But the hunters found that the King missed his mark. The tiger was alive. It fainted with the shock. But the hunters wanted to keep it secret from king so they shot the tiger dead.

Now the king felt he was safe. After a few days it was the birthday of his son. He choosen a wooden tiger toy to gift him. It was a ordinary toy, carved by unskilled hands. It had slivers all over.

The king and his son were playing with the toy. A sliver pierced the King's hand. He removed it. But the infection developed into a terrible sore. Surgeons from Chennai operated on King. At the end, the surgeons announced, "The operation was successful. The king is dead."
                                Ironically, the mighty King who killed 99 living tigers was killed by wooden tiger. Thus, the king was killed the way it was predicted.
This was the summary of a story "The Tiger King" Written by:- Kalki.

Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Great Sayings

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

When life gives you lemons, use them to squart lemon juice into the eyes of your enemies.

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

Wise people think all they say; fools say all they think.

Welcome to Hell. Here’s your copy of Windows ME.

Welcome what you can’t avoid.

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

What happens when a poisonous spiders bites his tongue.

If you are not supposed to drink and drive why do bars have parking lots?

Friendship is like peeing on yourself, everyone can see it but only you feel the warm feeling that it brings.

Hello dominos can i have pizza hut’s number.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.

I intend to live forever – so far, so good.

My mechanic told me, “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made the horn louder.”

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Top 10 Love Qoutes



  • " Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking outward together in the same direction."


  • " Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart."


  • " If I know what love is, it is because of you."


  • " Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."


  • " If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand."


  • " God can heal a broken heart, but you have to give Him all the pieces."


  • " Sometimes I wish I were a little kid again, skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts."


  • " Heavy hearts, like heavy clouds in the sky, are best relieved by the letting of a little water."


  • " If your heart is the strongest muscle of the body, why does it break so easily?"


" The greatest pain that comes with love is loving someone you can't have."

Monday, 14 November 2011

Top 10 Brainy quotes by great wise men

A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.
-Bruce Lee

And to stick our head in the sand and pretend that we are somehow safer if we do not know or to pretend we are somehow safer if we limit our options seems to me not only foolish but actually dangerous.
-Mac Thornberry

As a vessel is known by the sound, whether it be cracked or not; so men are proved, by their speeches, whether they be wise or foolish.
-Demosthenes

As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.
-Francois de La Rochefoucauld

Before God we are all equally wise - and equally foolish.
-Albert Einstein

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
-William Shakespeare

But even gold is not everything: and only a fanatic, and a rather foolish fanatic, would say that this style of fiction summed up and exhausted all the good that fiction could give and do.
-George Saintsbury

Dare to wear the foolish clown face.
-Frank Sinatra

Eddie Drake is sort of this loose cannon, funny, edgy guy, who has this really foolish, foolish mustache.
-Lee Tergesen

Education is a crutch with which the foolish attack the wise to prove that they are not idiots.
-Karl Kraus

Friday, 11 November 2011

TOp 10 texts

Never rush in love for it never runs out. Let love be the one to knock at your door, so by the time you start to fall, you know that your feeling is for sure.

Love has its ups and downs, its twists and turns. Love leaves you pain, teaches you until you learn and even if love takes so long, it always takes you to where you belong.

Women listen to music because they are in love. Men listen to music because they want to fall in love.

Some people don't get any respect at all because they are asking for the respect they deserve.

You don't marry someone you can live with. You marry the person who you cannot live without.

There is no such a thing as ignorance, but only degrees of wisdom.

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end, coz love is all there is.

Traffic. The black spell that makes commuters forget they are in love.

Love and stars are similar in one way. They keep you looking up every night.

There are two things rain helps improve: agricultural production and Indian population.

Thursday, 10 November 2011

Top 11 Dating Tips

If you are planning to meet with your special one, than it is indeed to know about some tips which can help you to have a memorable meeting. There are many anxieties in mind about how to behave, what to wear, what to ask and what to say. If this is your first time, then it might be more important to gather right information for your perfect date. Here you can find some relevant top 10 dating tips that can assist you in following your heart -


o Most important thing is to decide a calm place, where you two can talk comfortably to each other. For this you can go for restaurant, shopping malls or any other famous spot that can make your meeting a fun experience.

o You must gather all the information about the person you are going to meet. This will give you some idea about his/her choice. This will in turn useful in deciding the time and place for you meeting.

o Concentrate on your physical appearance that enhances your personality. Select perfect dress and sober hairstyle in which you feel comfortable. Do not over indulge yourself in picking up vibrant clothes. Your dressing sense will ultimately reflect your inner personality, so be sure to choose something that is attractive yet easy to carry.

o Be clear what you want to say. As this is your first date that will not only have lasting impact on your relationship but also it depend on your meeting what would be the future of this relation.

o Always remember to give other person first chance to speak. Also ensure that you will not interrupt in between when he/she is saying something.

o While ordering food, ask your partner first what he/she likes to have. This shows your courtesy toward your partner whether he/she want to have something to eat or not.

o Try to be sophisticated and do not speak anything that makes you a part of mockery. Only say what is possible for you, instead of saying anything overwhelming that is not possible to digest by your partner.

o Most important thing is to boost up your confidence which help you in achieving your goal. This will itself increase your communication and ultimately your presentation on date.

o Give time to yourself and prepare your mind for date. This will help you in analyzing how you can react on your first date.

o Lastly, enjoy your date. Do not feel exhausted as it will show tiring expression on your face and unfortunately may ruin your date.

Best CID PJ's

Raat k pehlu me chaand sitare chaye hai... 
Raat k pehlu me chaand sitare chaye hai...
wah wah...
Madam darwaza kholiye hum CID se aaye hai 




Mere ghar k pas ek nala h... 
Mere ghar k pas ek nala h..
Abhijeet zarur dal me kuch kala hai...




IPL me nachi DEEPIKA PADUKONE
IPL me nachi DEEPIKA padukone
wah!wah!...
DAYA is katl ka APRADHI hai koun.........

 

Zehreeley aakhen aur khula aakash,
Zehreeley aakhen aur khula aakash, 

Oh my God Abhijeet,ek aur lash...........


5 rupye ka ek samosa 10 rupye ke do
5 rupye ka 1 samosa 10 rupye ke d0
acp pradyuman kehta hai daya ab ye darwaza tod do..... 

What to Do when there iz nothing to do?

  1. Play "Rock, Paper, Scissors"
  2. Arm wrestle
  3. Thumb wrestle
  4. Push palms together to see who can push the hardest
  5. Stack hands one atop the other, pulling out the hand at the bottom and bringing it up top
  6. Stack fists, using same rules as above
  7. Stack arms, similarly
  8. Play with your child's hair
  9. Let your child play with your hair
  10. Draw a letter on your child's back with a finger and see if he or she can guess
  11. Draw a letter instead on your child's arm
  12. Have your child draw a letter on your arm or back, and you do the guessing.
  13. Write a poem. 
  14. Sing a song.
  15. Learn to do something new.
  16. Burn incense
  17. Plan a party.
  18. Take a nap
  19. Paint a picture
  20. Cry.
  21. Take a bath with your clothes on.
  22. Beat up your pillow.
  23. Meditate.
  24. Look at old photographs.
  25. Last but not at all a least that is visit this blog regularly

TOP Quotes By GREAT leaders……..


“If you have a good name, if you are more often right than you
are wrong, if your children respect you, if your grandchildren are
glad to see you, if your friends can count on you and you can
count on them in time of trouble, if you can face God and say “I
have done my best,” then you are a success.”

Ann Landers
“I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the
formula for failure – which is, try to please everybody.”
Herbert Swope
“Success is the result of good judgment, good judgment is a result
of experience, experience is often the result of bad judgment.”
Anthony Robbins
“Be ready when opportunity comes… Luck is the time when
preparation and opportunity meet.”
Roy D. Chapin Jr.
“I know the price of success: dedication, hard work and
unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.”
Frank Lloyd Wright 
“For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why
not? Why not me? Why not now?”
James Allen


“Thirteen virtues necessary for true success: temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility.”

Benjamin Franklin
“The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his
opportunity when it comes.”
Benjamin Disraeli
“Sweat plus sacrifice equals success.”
Charles O. Finley


“The only certain means of success is to render more and better
service than is expected of you, no matter what your task may
be.”
Og Mandino

Top RAJniKantH jokes

1. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.

2. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn’t lifting himself up. …He is pushing the earth down.
3. There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.

4.Rajnikant creats his new mail i.d. ⁰Gmail@rajnikant.com

5.Rajnikant was practising for spelling test. The rough sheet he used is today known as the oxford dictionary!!

6.A basket ball player spun a basketball on his finger and asked Rajnikant can u do it? Rajani-how do u think the earth spins?

7.Rajnikant opened his refrigerator and forgot to shut the door, Winters arrive in India!

8.Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice.

9.Rajnikant is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

10.Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

note:- this post is just for fun not for hurting the values of living or dead.